-= hahahah... weee! =-

Finally! After all the hours of stress and whatever pressure, RWP is over!!!!!

Ooh yeah~

I'm a Goofy Goober yeah~ *does the Goofy Goober Dance*

Completed the BST test like water.

Oh and yeah, lost 10-2 to An at pool before that. Blerghhhh...

Holiday tomorrow. I'll start studying probably on Monday. Few hours before the first test. I'll forget stuff if I don't look at them at least a few hours before I do something.

Sleep has been affecting me lately. Again. I'll only get 4 hour rests, 5 hours max. And the times I sleep are around what? Afternoons? 10pm - 2am? Blergh... What am I supposed to do in the middle of the night??? If there's soccer that would be okay. What's worse is, I can't sleep when I want to and I sleep when I'm not supposed to. Grrr....

Okay. Now I feel like sleeping.

Let me try to.

Ooh... And yeah, Everwood returns tonight. Gee.. Been almost a year since I watched that. Hahah. Finally, some good television.

Bye.

This was written at 6:52 pm on Thursday, March 31

-= great... just great =-

Guess what? I woke up from my sleep!

Now I can't sleep.

Hooray.

Thank god for football on tv.

This was written at 2:01 am on

-= die!!! die!!! wait. i'm already dead. =-

Question : Add this (oh, click that. heh) and a 1500 word report and a Monday deadline. What do you get?

Answer : o_O?

This was written at 12:31 pm on Wednesday, March 30

-= my pencil =-

Okay. This will be the third time I'm rewriting this entry.

Before I start. Here's a tribute to my beloved pencil.

Oh pencil,
How am I to live without you?
Your black lead
And your glow-in-the dark body.
You pen my thoughts on paper
and on tables.
Your scribbles come off
With a rub of the eraser.

Oh pencil.
What am I without you?
I can't write.
I can't draw.
I can't irritate my cousin.
I love you my dear.
I will never leave you.
Hope you feel the same way too.

Oh pencil, my dear.

________________

Okay. Back to normal life.

Hooray for Tuesday. BST test is postponed. Excel test was like water.

I don't know why. But I feel kinda moody today.

But that's good :)

Now I can write poems. Weee~

This was written at 6:41 pm on Tuesday, March 29

-= still it cries =-

Haiz... I wonder what is wrong with me. I've been getting up before 9am for these past few days eventhough I sleep at 3 or 4 am in the morning. Then when I try to sleep in the afternoon, the nap will only last for 45mins. Then I won't be able to sleep til like 3 or 4 am again. What's bothering me is that I always feel tired when I'm awake. I think I think too much.

Exams starts soon. I will try my best to pass. And mind you, these exams won't be as easy as the term tests. I doubt I'll be able to get 60 marks for anyone of these tests. Except maybe Microsoft Excel. Hopefully I'll be able to get through this diploma and get some work.

Please let this week and the next 2 past quickly. I wanna have my holidays. I wanna feel free and not care about school for sometime.

I wanna go to Finland. I would like to stay there too. It's such a peaceful place. I like it when it's winter there. I like snow. Though I've never experienced it.

Oh well... That ends it. Good day.

This was written at 9:11 am on Monday, March 28

-= la vita fugge =-

If I could stop time...
How many things that I would change from the past
I'd set my life right

If I could live forever
How many emotions I would learn to control
And feel what I want

Time is running too fast for me
You can't stop its course
Never surrender, I'll sleep when I'm dead
Time is moving along too fast
I can't think straight
Won't take all the time that I need
If I try I'll always be late

I wanna kill time
Win my own war to survive
Only a chance... I’d surely not fail

Time is running too fast for me
You can't stop its course
Never surrender, I'll sleep when I'm dead
Time is moving along too fast
I can't think straight
Won't take all the time that I need
If I try I'll always be late

My uncle came over just now. He got back from his relative's place or something. His nephew died. That makes it my cousin. He killed himself. Why? Cos a girl rejected him. And he's only 16. Sheesh. What is this world comming to? I pity the girl. She must be feeling real guilty now.

Let me just go stone. Bye.

This was written at 5:00 pm on Sunday, March 27

-= why lah dei... =-

I wanna watch Spongebob.... :( Hai...

This was written at 1:31 pm on

-= battle of the gelek kings =-

Apek 1

Ronin's Singer 0

This was written at 1:44 pm on Saturday, March 26

-= crap =-

Argh damn it. I missed the Bananas In Pyjamas special just now. Crap.

This was written at 2:27 pm on Friday, March 25

-= madness =-

I think my family is going mad. Except for my mom.

My grandma says I'm skinny.

My bro skips with a guitar cable to slim down. Yet he drinks coke everyday.

My dad is obsessed over his phone. Now he's playing this stupid sound file which is someone screaming in Malay to answer the phone. The worst thing was he put it directly above my ear while I was sleeping.

Only my mum ain't crazy. Why do I say that? Well. She does her work herself. Doesn't really bother people much. And actually told my dad to shut that stupid noise off.

All this while, I thought I inherited my dad's genes. Well, I guess I was wrong.

This was written at 8:48 am on Thursday, March 24

-= wake up kids =-

Haiyah... Why must I wake up so early? There's no school. I slept at 3am. Then why did I get up so early? Why can't I sleep again? Now I have to watch the day pass by slowly. Again. Haiz... Please let it be 9am soon. I wanna watch Kids Central.

This was written at 8:25 am on Wednesday, March 23

-= regiomontum =-

I wonder what makes people happy. Will someone please tell me? Cos I want to be happy.

This was written at 1:41 pm on Tuesday, March 22

-= drown together =-

Take this love, my dear, and cherish it in your heart
You shall have no fear…
Nothing could tear us apart

Accept this love sincere, from the bottom of my heart
for now our time is here…
and love shall heal the scars

Now twilight hides the clear, and haunts the day away
We cross the last frontier,
and it sets our hearts ablaze

The Waves lie still and gleaming on Our Sea
…and we're drifting down the stream…

Let's drown ourselves in this love
my darling, my only one
Let's give our lives for this love
we are in - make it forever…

Let me dry your tears and hold you in embrace
Until we disappear in the crimson haze

The Flames rise still so freezing on Our Sea
…and we're drifting down the stream…

Let's drown ourselves in this
love my darling, my only one
Let's give our lives for this love
we are in (we'll) do it together…

"…and we take our dive into the waters of eternity…
…here all pain has died and the only ones are you and me…"

The Haze lies still and bleeding on Our Sea
…and we´re drifting down the stream… (-to eternity!)

Let's drown ourselves in this love
my darling, my only one
(Let's) set sacrifices for this love
we are in - make it forever…

Let's drown ourselves in this love
Let's give our lives for this love
we are in (we'll) do it together…

Man... I just can't seem to find some other song that's as well written as this. Enjoy :)

This was written at 10:50 pm on Monday, March 21

-= bing and bong =-

I think Bing and Bong is now my fave afternoon show. I like the intro. Hahah. Check it out.

http://195.12.19.237/mix_bb.asf

This was written at 12:19 pm on

-= A Dedication =-

Your heart changes colder and turns to stone
You're my pain, you're my crown
Let me invite (you) into my faith
Can I hold you?

Again!

Oh... all my thoughts belong to you
Oh... my words seem void without you
You lend me your hand and lead my way
The silence comes, I cry too late
Can’t carry my Burden, can't carry my fear
Must cry without a tear

Oh... you see me falling
And my sadness catches me up
Oh... tears of Pain
They are born in Love

All times grow short
And my face wears scars
I evade my feels
But my soul is weeping

Am I your strangeness?
Am I your trust?
Am I your decay?
Am I your heal?

Oh... you see me falling
And my sadness catches me up
Oh... tears of Pain
They are born in Love
Oh... you see me falling
And my sadness catches me up
Oh... tears of Pain
They are born in Love

This was written at 4:16 pm on Sunday, March 20

-= haiyah... spoil some more =-

Went to keyboard class in the morning. Was just a practice kinda thing. Sort of explored the keyboard. Man... I want that keyboard. I can be a one man band with that bloody thing. Hahah.

Went to the Esplanade at around 12pm. Went to the library. I picked up a few books and sat down to read them. It's a very nice place there. Very peaceful. Not many people. I should go there more.

Haiyah. My earphones are spoilt again. A new one is gonna cost me $26. Haiz... I don't know.. I just don't like those cheap ones. They don't give that kind of atmosphere I want. That's why I only go for Philips earphones.

It seems like a nice day to be out. Weather's nice. But I'll probably sit at home and listen to black metal music or whatever that makes me happy in a sad way. So yeah. Hope you guys enjoy your Saturday.

"Sleep not, dream not; this bright day
Will not, cannot last for aye;
Bliss like thine is bought by years
Dark with torment and with tears."
(from 'Sleep not', 1846, Emily Bronte)

This was written at 4:40 pm on Saturday, March 19

-= enveloped =-

here we are

together in this darkness

enveloped in the deepest shade of black

connected through this misery

lingering in the air

the burden of goodbye

a heavy ringing in my ear

it's a silent reminder

an afterthought of sorts

bad dreams, hollow sleep

of dark rooms, empty homes

and things without names

memories of murder

the shades that fell

i wouldn't prefer to answer

the question

the last quiet cord to besevered

nothing to take with you

nothing left for you to keep

the music is over, there's no-one here

it's snowing heavily

i can't even see my breath escaping

never to return

[Rapture]

----------------------------------------

"I lingered around them,

under that benign sky;

watched the moths fluttering

among the heath of harebells

listened the soft wind

breathing though the grass;

and wondered how anyone

could ever imagine unquiet slumbers

for the sleepers in the quiet earth."

[Emily Bronte 1814-1848]

This was written at 6:44 pm on Friday, March 18

-= icewind blast =-

Okay. I'm out of ideas. Jaw is still crammed up and I'm almost out of pain killers. Damn. Come to think of it... This pain killers are kinda nice. I haven't felt any stress since taking them. Hahah. I wonder if they'll last though. Only 6 are left. That means 3 more times to take. In the mean time I'll just have to not strain myself out much.

Bugger Ryan told me that class starts at 11am. I just got up at 9.30am. Was happily eating sup kambing then had to rush. Glarb.

Gee... I haven't done anything much this week. Seems like the world sort of turned into stone. I'm looking forward to Saturday. Gonna go to the Esplanade. Weee~ Gonna look for music scores with Leslie, Chelsea and Diana. Gonna be some experience. I'm the only guy and by far the youngest. Another step to socialism I hope.

There's not gonna be much school next week. Then the week after will be for tests. After that I'll be free like a buy one get one free plate of mee rebus.

Hai... Okay. I'll now go stone myself to sleep. Good day.

This was written at 5:43 pm on Thursday, March 17

-= dreamlands =-

Sweet dreams...

in deep sleep...

widen the landscape of mind!

Dreaming... and seeing...

more than a lifetime could give!

And I keep dreamming...

Oh, I keep breathing... The Night!

What treasures it may hide... The Night!

What paths it may guide to... The Night!

Time after time...

Take me, unfold me!

Hands on the Night... feeling inside...

I've lost one life!

Child of the Night...

Don't wake me up!

And you keep dreaming...

Oh, are you feeling the Night?

Dreams, do thems of the dead...

Night after night...

Returning to the light!

Hands of time stop!

Filling my mind...

with your starry eyes!

Child of the Night.

Time after time... tired.

Hands of the Night...

Take me away, feeling inside... so tired.

Child... we'll sleep... Forever.

Hands of time stop...

This was written at 11:51 am on Wednesday, March 16

-= jawbreaker =-

My jaw hurts. I can't eat. I can't shout. I can't open my mouth. Blergh.

This was written at 7:46 pm on Tuesday, March 15

-= read between the lines then maybe you'll find out =-

Today was a good day. Went cycling with Harrish in the evening. Been almost a year since we went cycling. Was a good opportunity to catch up and share stuff. Had very long chat til like 8.45pm. Basically about life and stuff related to it. I'm really glad we had that conversation. It really made me think about what more there is to life than what I am doing now. I've decided that I would try my best to complete this poly course and then see what comes along after that. I've been thinking about lots of stuff lately. And at the moment, I am still very unsure of what my future will be like. So I guess I'll just take everything in its stride for now and just hope for the best.

Oh well... I have 1500-word report begging me to finish it now. So yeah. Goodnight.

This was written at 9:05 pm on Monday, March 14

-= this pseudo-love is as good as betrayal =-

If you ever wanted me to choose the one song that makes me feel much better everytime I feel like crap, it has to be Bleed In My Arms by Sentenced.

Weep for promises which all died
A drop of tear for every lie
Love forever torn away
I am only to cherish your pain.

Well, the morning 'crash course' was much more than that. Apparently, I was the only student there. So... Leslie tried to get me as far as possible. I did learn alot just now. Not only about keyboards though. Leslie's husband was there as well. He accompanied her for breakfast I think. How nice. Heh. Oh and yeah, her husband is two years younger than her. Heheh. Who said that husband must be older? Heh. She also said that she actually stopped studying half-way at NUS to pursue her musical studies. And the best thing was, she met her husband(at that time haven't married yet ar...) when she went to study music. Her husband was actually her teacher! Hahah. She also gave advice about finding the one. You can never rush into anything and always, ALWAYS, try to find the perfect match, if not, find the most almost-perfect one. Don't go for those who are after money and more materialistic stuff. Someone who you could talk to for the rest of your life and share all your thoughts. That's what she means by the perfect match. How could I disagree? That's also my view of the perfect one. So yeah, I guess most musicians are really nice and modest people. So yeah... For those out there... Look for a musician as your partner! Hahah. Or you could do what Liza said... Marry one then make him or her a musician. Nyahahahah.

So yeah, after pretty much 3 hours of intense practice we pretty much called it a day. Then Leslie showed me what other things she did other than teaching music. She's actually in a team for making flash animations! Hahah. She does voices and sounds for these egg-like people, witches and stuff like that. Wah seh... Multi-talented. Gee... I wanna be like Leslie. Hahah. Set. Now she's my role model. Heheheheh.

Okay. Before this gets out of hand... I better go. I am sitting in the morning at the diner in the corner~ Bye.

This was written at 6:56 pm on Sunday, March 13

-= saturday night fever =-

The match just now was probably one of the worst matches I ever played in my life. Lost 0-2 to SPSU. Hats off to them ar. They played well. We on the other hand, sucked. Seriously. I consider ourselves lucky to not get thrashed. Oh well, but not much can be done. We're a new team. We haven't gelled together yet. No thanks to our wonderful captain. Ask to come training then we he go? Play captain ball. Baik ar.

Please rain more...

Didn't make it to keyboard class. Finished at 3pm. That's when class starts anyway. Leslie's nice enough to give a crash course tomorrow for the 2 lessons I missed. Thanks man. So I'll probably be busy practicing on the keyboard tonight.

And it's raining! Weee!

Okay. I think I'll stop here. I think I ate too quick just now. Now my stomach is hurts. Blergh.

This was written at 5:45 pm on Saturday, March 12

-= man of stone =-

Nothing really happened this past few days. And then suddenly. Kapish. It's Friday. And what's next? A hectic weekend. SMA match, keyboard classes for 2 days and I also don't know what more. Hai...

Semestral exams starts on 2 April. I don't know if that's good or bad. I just want to get it over with.

So many thoughts. So much confusion. Afterthoughts of sorts. I need sleep. Seriously.

This was written at 9:41 pm on Friday, March 11

-= amnesia... eh? paranoia... eh? no... insomnia =-

I think i have that. Insomnia. Tried lying down for 1 hour. I couldn't fall asleep. So here I am. My light is blown. So I have to use the small lamp. It ain't so bright but it's kinda nice. Very... Erm... Zen. So yah. I'll probably stare at the monitor til I fall asleep. Goodnight.

This was written at 11:16 pm on Thursday, March 10

-= Fiction City =-

Don't you feel it's more than this

if you concentrate

take a look between the truth

and things you can not see

try to break this courage chain

and leave yourself a while

step inside your deepest fear

and separate this world

Yes I can feel disturbance in the air

people that I knew are trying to break through

No I don't mind going for a ride to meet them

in the fiction city

to meet them in the fiction city

Sometimes when I'm feeling down

I know that they are here

reflections of what they have seen

ain't easy to ignore

with respect of who they were before they

touched the sky

step inside your deepest fear

and separate this world

This was written at 8:43 am on

-= +++ =-

Yay! Newcastle won! Weee!

Read the paper. A F1 race loses 2kg on average every race. That means... Losing weight by just sitting in the cockpit of the car for about an hour.

Andainya aku pergi dulu sebelum mu... Heheh. Alleycats. Weehoo.

This was written at 11:46 am on Sunday, March 6

-= weee! match =-

Just got back from the match with Unknown Team. The opponents were big and looked tough. However, they were all kental lodeh ar. Easily beat them 7-2. Scored with a back heel. Weee!

Met my cuz Dan. Been a while since I've met him. Still the same guy. Same size. Krekrekre.

Okay gotta go. Back to more stoning and stuff.

This was written at 2:05 pm on Saturday, March 5

-= stupid report =-

Forced myself to school simply because there was the stupid report writing test. The subject I detest the most. Why the hell are we learning how to write reports? Stupid module. And the worst thing is that if I don't pass, I will have to repeat that bloody module.

Did what I had to do. Mrs Kan said I would get low marks. What the heck man. I don't care.

I really need to break out of this shell. I spend 1/2 of my daily life locked up in my room doing nothing. Reading, staring, stoning and whatever crap that goes along. The other 12 hours is spend on sleep (6 hours) and school (6 hours). Only ocassionally I get the time to go out and what? Cycle? I think that's it. That's why matches always bring joy to me.

Weee! Match tomorrow. And I think that's the only exciting thing this week.

Doctor doctor please.... Oh the mess I'm in...

This was written at 7:47 pm on Friday, March 4

-= misc sees =-

http://www.amishdonkey.com/potd.php

This was written at 2:40 pm on

-= gaskit =-

The age of innocence is fading like an old dream.

I had a dream. Singapore snowed. Saw penguins at traffic lights. Dogs, lions and bears running around along the roads. Whales and dolphins in the longkang. I lost my slippers but found them again at Mie's house. Grabbed my goggles and cycled around the area to see all the animals. Then I woke up.

I don't know about you though, but, heh, I kinda wished that dream was real. Heheh.

Okay. Goodnight.

This was written at 10:16 pm on Thursday, March 3

-= rescue me =-

And now, you remind me
Of the life, we used to live
It stings, just like jealosy
Is it love, in disguise

When we started to drift away
From the perfect past we had
And you wanted to play the game
Of my bittersweet feelings...

The feelings were so bittersweet

Don't let me go
My only love is leaving
Won't you rescue me?
You're my soul companion
Love is what we make it

I could never feel
What I feel right now
And you feeling the same way too?
And dream, what I dreamt back then
I'm forever blackening...

Becoming black forever

Won't you rescue me?
Broken heart is bleeding
Love is what we make it
I could never...
Break it...

But still I did
And you cannot blame me

And still, this is my honesty
As I always wanted to be
Why do I feel so bittersweet?
The distance, killing me

In time, when we grow older
May life smile upon you dear
My heart would never surely be colder
Going through the years in tears...

Cold heart is bleeding
Turns tears to dust

My only love is leaving
We will be forgiven
My broken heart is bleeding
We will be forgiven...

Don't you rescue me
I found my real salvation
Don't you rescue me
She's my true temptation

Don't you rescue me...

This was written at 2:00 pm on Wednesday, March 2

-= random reads =-

Got this from some report from soccernet.com.

Carles Puyol has always worn that strange thrash-metal cut, for which he should be awarded some sort of prize, but there is no excuse for attempting to copy him.

Marquez, who equalised on the snowy pitch at Numancia this weekend, has his own locks tied back in a bun, but Ronaldinho is definitely beginning to resemble a cross between something from the X-Files and a South American porn star. Victor Valdés looks as though he's just been electrocuted and the new recruit, Maxi López, has obviously decided to be the founding member of the Guti appreciation society.

Hahah.

This was written at 2:18 pm on Tuesday, March 1